Like a water sign, she is deep and mysterious. She loves being anonymous; She is as silent as thoughts; she is as shy as red squirrel. She, sometimes, looks as cold as Alaska. But in the deep abyss of her heart, she has a warm spring as warm as warm wet tears dropping on the cold dry cheeks of a child.
By love, she always means real love- “a real one”. No other type of love exists for her.
Like a new born child, I always see innocence, curiosity and a charm in her eyes
I had stuffed myself packed inside the sleeping bag. I don’t remember what quarter of the morning that was, but I do remember her soft clutch over my left wrist then. She was sitting in the dark; motionless. I lifted my sleepy face with closed eyes and tried to comprehend her spatial location out of the dark. Everything looked fazed out. She was still sitting there. I crippled out of my sleeping bag and pushed on the camping lantern hanging above. She looked lost in her unobvious thoughts. I took a deep look at her face. She was almost awake but she won’t move or speak.
“Hey!?” I rubbed her palms.
She won’t utter a single word. I crippled closer; put my head on her lap and tried to take a deeper look into her eyes. Her eyes would always serve as windows to her soul. A few souls are nurtured differently. They are made up of extraterrestrial stuff, an ethereal one which is rare on this mortal earth. I felt the same look which she threw at me while on waterfalls trek. We had swum across almost feet of length to sit on the slippery rocks very below the gallons of water falling directly on us. While I was holding on to a vine climbing along the root of a tree, she was holding on to me. For a moment, she had left her life in my right hand.
When I looked at her and smiled, she threw almost a totally blank look at me, a confusing one. Her eyes wide open; an innocent face peeping out of wet long hair. I was just awestruck looking at nature’s most beautiful face amidst nature. Pristine water washing an immaculate face where not a single of water could retain itself to the slippery cheeks.
“Hold on tight!“- I had to shout aloud just to make sure my voice falls into her ear amid gallons of roaring water.
And, I remember her clutch. The hard clutch, the hard look, the long hair and she almost coming closer to me afloat in water under the waterfall; a moment which I could not forget. That’s gonna be her and me into some flume-electro music pattering hard. Two souls floating vis-a-vis. I could feel her warmth floating in the cold water. I could feel my grip on her warm waist. She came floating like a free-falling feather. I could smell her breath. she almost let herself loose into me and I took her to the shore.
I saw the same look at her face sitting silently inside the tent. I didn’t want to disturb the momentum. I opened the front zip of the tent and tried to take a look outside. The fire was still half burning. The sky was as clear as an untouched water of a pristine pool. I could hear the dogs barking in the valley-side villages. There was a light romantic breeze. I waved my hand and flashed my torch around just to check the mood of the surroundings.
“All clear!” Before I could turn back to see her again; like a silent baby she had already crawled up beside me sharing my space.
For the next few moments, I could not take my eyes off her eyes in the dark. I could see the reflection of the crimson fire hanging onto the mammoth log that I had brought last night from the thick forest nearby. On that silent night, the silence was talking more than the words. I remembered she would always talk about star-gazing on the silent nights. Once she had unveiled her wish of lying under star-studded nights and looking at the meteor shower from the peak of a hill.
It was summer, a perfect time for the meteor showers. I pulled out the ground pad. She would stand feet away and watch me like a baby seeing her father doing the job. The mat concealed the cold earth underneath it.
“Come here!”, and she would like a newly wed bride, come slowly to me.
I leaned in forward to throw a heavy puff to the fire. Soon, the smoky log was burning silently. I checked onto my wrist-watch. It was almost 4 in the morning. Some hazy lights from the village were floating onto the morning fogs hanging in the valley. The forest looked pitch black like a sleeping monster on the edge of the mountain. The grass was little wet and the fire was warm. I hold her hand and took a look at her. Her face was shining red like a polished mahogany finishing under the fire. Her long hair was hanging like care-free vines from a beautiful tree. She was still looking at the fire.
“You don’t wanna see the stars, baby?“– I asked.
That was, though, not a cold night but I just wanted to hold her tight. I pillowed down the light bag beneath my head and lied down just beside the fire. She was still sitting there with both of her legs folded and crumbled by her hands.
“Come here!”- I pulled her beside me.
I made her head rest on my right arm. We were looking up in the sky; trying to figure out some lost paradise in the far galaxy.
“Look! Meteor showers”- And her warm breath gets lost in the cold mist of the night.
I turned in and could see her face in the foreground of the fire. The burning log would crackle and we both would turn to see that.
The spellbinding charm of happiness over her innocent face reminds me of a child. she had drawn me in. I kept looking at her face while she keeps on holding my wrist, lost in the extraterrestrial magic of burning stars. I saw a universe of happiness getting filled in her empty eyes.
She had got a very shiny cheek. I, sometimes, touched her when she was comfortable. Falling stars were leaving behind a dim trail over her shiny cheek. With a subdued chuckle, she looks at me. She looks happy. Her shiny black pearl eyes had, then, reversed the flow of the wind for a while.
“Did you see that shiniest star?” – her soft peach pitch and her fresh apple face from eve’s garden.
Unaware and unconscious of my attention, she keeps on holding my hand in her soft hand and points to a shooting star in the North.
“That one”– two souls hand in hand moving aligned and following the trail of a falling star going to get lost on the horizon.
Time pauses for a while as if the earth had stopped revolving. The psychological state created by magical conjuration of falling stars and her chuckles carry me away from my own. Life suspends for a while like parachutes suspended in the air above clouds. Those distant hazy peaks look like a pile of charcoal. Colorless dew holding onto tall grasses looks mint cream. Nature is full of wonderfulness. Even the blue backpack lying beside us looks sapphire. Someone was having an infinite silent firework far up in the heaven for the sweetest girl in my arms. A star burns, covers a small stretch and magically gets lost somewhere silently. Her eyes would follow the trail and return to the default position.
Gradually the star storm slacks off. There is more tacit in the silence. You can even hear the silence. Only a few stars are dashing across the sky, shooting perpetually to keep the show alive; trying to fill and create a ripple across the passive sky.
While on earth, burnt twigs still hold some fire. I called them crimson threads
The fire was still alive. A small puff reddens the crimson threads hanging on to the woods. She looks at me. I am lying in front of her. There are a thousand untold stories concealed behind her deep silent eyes. I find her a statue with an odd mix of care, emotions and romance. Dark crimson glares radiate off her innocent face. She is an Ambriel descended from heaven in a golden wheat farm shining under morning red sun. Confound-ness takes me over. Those silent eyes are the only medium of silent conversation. I threw my gaze at her confusingly. She understands my mindlessness.
“Come closer, it’s cold out there”– her flaccid caring voice.
I gather myself and crawl beside her. I was out of my nerves, as though I was going to see Maryam in the confession room on Sunday rosary. The anxiety of looking at her into her eyes and the same anxiety of her stealing eyes from my eyes. Though we were well aware of each other. She tries to pull ourselves together. Two souls are lying next to each other in the wilderness. She slowly rubs my arm. Caring! And her head rests on my shoulders; she had pulled herself up.
My soul has wandered over a thousand distant dimensions. I am unable to decipher what it is actually. Sometimes, it appears as a large clump of soft clouds hovering over a large pristine pool. The pool is surrounded by a vast stretch of meadows and unicorns are appearing down from the clouds. There are no sun, no moon. Pale oak leaves are floating over water and daisies come along out of nowhere. I can feel her hold over my arms; her hands lying across my chest. I can smell her hair. She smells like an apricot. The mystic valley has some white swans too and the pool is being lightened by jellyfishes.
Deep shiny Turquoise water world!
An unending rapture was created and I never want to come out of it again. We had become the center of the congruence for all the confluence of the magical moments. An unending rapture was being created. I was getting engulfed in her arms like a baby sleeping in her mother’s lap and never wanted to come out of it again
I hold her in my arms. Closer and deeper. She squeezes herself like a doll. She is soft, compact and beautiful. And then she closes her eyes and rests her head on my shoulders again. Maybe, she captured these thousand untold moments deep down in her heart forever.
The loud thumps of my heart, the warmth of her short breaths; shyness behind her eyes; the smell of an apricot from her cheek had enamored the moment. We were getting carried away with the flow of time. She was anticipating something precious out of me. I looked at the shallow pink contours running across her soft cheek. She had fore-sensed the moment of verity. Her face was facing the sky as though a pearl was anticipating a rain drop to attain beatitude that transcends the cycle of reincarnation.
I couldn’t help feeling the adrenaline rushing through my veins.
She leaned in, so close, I could smell the flouriest scent coming from her breath, which I knew I would never forget that moment. Her lips just touched my lips.
With that single touch, a spark ran across my body. I would always remember that whenever I would lean in, she would close her eyes in anticipation. That was the precursor that she wanted me to kiss her. With her eyes closed, She looked like she had embraced all the sufferings of this world for me inside her heart. She just wanted me to forget everything and embrace her to the core of my heart.
It’s the first kiss and If I guess, she would call it “Elixir of life”
Her lips were as soft as rose petals; she was squeezing herself into me. The more I try to take control of, the more she would squeeze herself into me, freeing herself into me; surrender. she was as warm as a hug. I would hold her like a queen. And, even if I did not want to, my eyes would close. I think, those closed eyes just want me to forget everything and just be in her.
Lips would be sliding and gliding over each other. It’s so smooth and silky that I don’t wanna leave her ever. Planets and stars were into a special configuration. As I leaned over her, she let herself free away from the wretchedness of this world into my arms. She wanted to let her waxy body melt in the heat of my arms.
She is warm. Her eyes are closed. It’s a moment of free fall and we are a slave of gravity. I can’t stop myself from tasting her apricot lips again. Sometimes, I would stop kissing her and take a look at her face. I always loved looking at her face with closed eyes. I don’t know where from she developed the sixth sense but the moment I would lean towards her again she would feel that. She would also lean in with her eyes closed.
The same fruit taste better. She holds me; put her head over my chest. I feel like her savior. She wants to contain her inside of me. Coziness takes us over. We are loosened up unstrained. I just want to lie down and drift away like blue smoke lazily away on the still air. We together lie down arms in arms.
And another blue world opens behind my closed eyes. A thin film of dark lucid water, concealed behind my closed eyes is carrying dark azure pigments. And a moonlit world then gradually appears in the sky behind my closed eyes in a lucid dream. Dim aura of golden moon brightens the earth and a lovely, soft tunnel appears in the sky. Hydrangea’s blue petals pile up along with the clouds and silvery mists are floating inside the tunnel and moon is smiling at the other end.
A flight of smiling angels carries us to a place through the tunnel to wonderland. I had lost my nerves and was feeling weightless, warm and numb. I never wanted to come out that illusive world ever again.
The storm slacked away. I opened my eyes. She was still lying on my chest listening to my heart beats. Her big eyes looking soothingly at me. I would pull her up and she would do the rest. She would hold me tight; she would rub my arms; sometimes, she would run her fingers through my hair; she would kiss on my chick; she would look at me and then smile and silently put her head to the rest on my chest.
I would rub her back. She was soft like a warm jelly bag. and again she would squeeze herself into me. With another crackle, the burning log had fallen off the fire and with the same crackle, we realized that we were not afloat onto the air. We looked towards the burning log.
“You lie, I put the logs on!” She was going to put the log into the place.
Leaned in, she would again look at me. I was puzzled looking at her sparkling eyes. Suddenly she leaned in and kissed me.
“mmmmaaaddddddddd giiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrl” I could not speak because I was almost choked by her with her kiss.
I tried to hold her but she had already galloped out of my reach. She was sitting beside the fire smiling at me. She would try to contain the heat onto her soft palms and rub my cheek and she would kiss at my forehead and again return to the fire.
I began feeling relaxed by her tranquil kiss. She went inside and covered me with sleeping bag. I really began feeling warm. I don’t remember much what was she doing like a new-born calf till morning. But sometimes, I would look at her with sleepy eyes and I always saw her containing heat on her palms and I realized she was rubbing her palms over my face. After some time, She was lying beside me in the flat sleeping bag. She was holding me like a child.
Next day when I open my eyes, I was lying on earth. I see the orange morning sun first and then a large pool of clouds formations floating down the valley. She was standing with her backpack strapped to her shoulders behind me. Smiling!
“Get up you pagal!”– With a wide smile. (I don’t know but she always called me Paagal)
And, as we walked together, I see her shying away and blushing thousand times, smiling silently and stealing her eyes off me when I would look at her. It was divine; it was serene, it was out of the world; it was her who induced the dream and it was me who always wanted to keep myself lost in the labyrinth of love.